Saturday, April 30, 2011

You have only been gone 10 days, but already i'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon,
But I need you to know that I care




And I miss you.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011

Maaf.

Mulut aku agak lancang bersuara. Dan aku tahu, tak semua orang boleh terima kelancangan aku ini. Yang boleh terima pun, kadang kala akan terasa.


Aku bodoh.


Aku selalu terlupa, bahawa apabila dengan kau, aku harus kawal bicara. Sebab hati kita tak sama.


Aku, kental sedikit, dan kau, sedikit fragile.


Kadang kala disebabkan perasaan terlalu selesa dengan kau, teman baik sendiri, buat aku terlupa, bahawa perlu juga aku kawal segala tutur bahasa aku tak kiralah betapa rapatnya kita.


Sebab cara penerimaan semua tak sama.


Maaf.


I didn't meant to hurt you with my words, with my behavior, or anything.


Maaf.


Aku terlupa untuk jaga hati kau.


I should have faith in you, no matter what.


Just like how you have faith in me bila mana aku menghadapi emotional breakdown beberapa minggu yang lalu.

Just like how you believe in me dalam segala hal yang aku sendiri tak punya rasa percaya dalam diri.





I am truly sorry, dearest bestie.



I love you. and I have faith in you. I really do.

I am sorry.

gila.

1 paper down, 6 more to go.
Financial Mgmt and Corporate Taxation upcoming on Saturday. 2 papers in one day, UiTM tak boleh kejam lagi ke?


Sigh.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

tat.

Jangan marah bila aku cakap kau berperangai macam celaka. Sebab sejujurnya, kau memang celaka.


Kau nak butthurt? Kenapa? Kalau kau tak macam celaka, buat apa nak terasa. Betul tak? Aku cakap benda yang betul. Takde maknanya nak tambah2 garam gula ajinamoto bagai sebab memang dah cukup rasa.


Kawan konon. Tahi kau lah. Datang mencari bila susah je. Bila sang kawan susah, ada kau peduli? Tak langsung. Kami je yang kena bertanya khabar kau. Sihat? Dah makan? Ada kenderaan untuk pulang?


Kau langsung tak peduli.


Aku dah lama tak ambil port. Dan aku yakin kau pun perasan semua tu. Tapi aku kesian kan 2 orang lagi sang kawan yang masih concern perihal kau. Sungguh, aku kesian. Sebab aku tahu, sia-sia je ke-concern-an diorang tu.


Sia-sia.


Untunglah sekarang kau dah ada kawan baru yang mampu nak backup kau. Dan kami ini kau ludahkan saja.


Terhina. Itu yang aku rasa.


Tak apa.


Kami dekat sini hanya akan duduk tunggu dan lihat sahaja kau dari jauh.


Kita tengok jauh mana orang egois macam kau akan pergi.


Karma will knock on your fucking door someday, "brother".

gasping for air.




1 hari lagi.

Tenang semua.

Lets have a cup of tea.

Good luck everyone!

Monday, April 18, 2011

monday blues

finals starting in 2 days. and i still wonder if i have enough time to cover everything (despite that i still have time to do this heheh :p).

in less than 2 weeks, i'll finish my diploma insyaAllah.

dan aku akan tinggalkan jementah / segamat dan segala isi-isinya.

i'm gonna miss my friends here, the places that we've been, and every single activities that we did.

truthfully I am scared.

I am scared of when the day will come. Because :

I hate goodbyes.
I hate changes.

and the most important thing is i hate packing.

ye aku dasar gemuk pemalas. shadap. siapa baik hati nak tolong aku packing? aku belanja abc terpaling sedap dekat jementah ni! hihi. :)

oh dan aku tinggalkan secebis hati aku kat jementah jugak. haha. ok tak jadi. tak nak ah. nanti tak ada siapa nak kutip pun. kena pijak kena gilis ada lah

ok aku patut stop membebel kat sini and pergi sambung belajar. okbye

btw N sumil gila main futsal haritu hihihihi dah lah loser main kad ok takde kaitan langsung okbye for real

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

terfaktab mungkin?




Business Plan ETR selesai jugak akhirnya. Such a relief.

Sekarang, masa untuk tumpukan dekat test 2 Taxation, quiz Maf330, final report FAR360, dan presentation untuk business plan.

Only after all these are settled, baru lah aku boleh mula untuk fokus terhadap peperiksaan final.

Hari ni 13 April.

Bermakna, tinggal KURANG daripada 8 hari sebelum paper pertama bermula.

8 FREAKING DAYS.

This is disaster. I think that my Uni is trying to kill us students with their new system. Madafaka.

Aku bukan pelajar yang brilliant. Yang mampu nak dapat dekan setiap semester. Tapi aku cuba, walaupun akhirnya aku tetap tak berjaya dapat dekan.

Tak dapat dekan pun, tapi aku masih bertahan di sini walaupun dengan pointer yang tak seberapa.

Dan setakat ini, decision paling kamikaze aku buat ialah ambil kesemua 5 subjek ditambah dengan 2 carry paper untuk semester akhir ni.

Total up? 7 paper yang akan aku bawak ke final ni.

Dan durasi masa untuk peperiksaan akhir semester ini adalah 10 hari.

7 paper dalam 10 hari. Seronok betul.

Aku tak kuat.

Monday, April 11, 2011

just because it is ironic


ASK by The Smiths.

Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me I wont say no, how could I?

Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buxom girl in Luxembourg

Ask me, ask me, ask me
Ask me, ask me, ask me

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb,
the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
That will bring us together


Nature is a language - can't you read ?
Nature is a language - can't you read ?

So, ask me, ask me, ask me,
Ask me, ask me, ask me

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb,
the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
That will bring us together

If it's not Love
Then it's the bomb
Then it's the bomb
That will bring us together

So, ask me, ask me, ask me,
Ask me, ask me, ask me
Oh, la...




Ini untuk kau, wahai N. (paling kau baca blog aku sebenarnya kan -__-)

Friday, April 08, 2011

Last night,


I wish I could put last night on repeat.

The journey from Segamat to Subang with N was............ hmm I couldn't find a proper word for it. Lets just say, it kinda put a smile on my face. And lighten me up after the hectic weeks I have gone through.

I was tired and feels like sleeping. But I couldn't resist myself from talking to you. Because I knew this opportunity won't come always.

Though your friends are around, it feels like it's just the two of us in the car.

I wish last night could last longer. The 3 hours journey rasa macam setengah jam je.

I want another day with you.

And I think I like you. A lot more than before.

Monday, April 04, 2011

hey April, I ain't a fool.

It's April already. In less than one month, I'll finish my diploma. InsyaAllah. Seriously, I can't wait to get over with this. It's tiring. I don't care if I didn't get enough sleep, but the work pressure is beyond what I had imagine it to be. I know I know, I shouldn't be complaining since everyone else is also facing the same situation.

It is not even over yet, but I have already planned a few things that I want or need to do for the long holiday. We are talking about the 4 freaking months of holiday here people!

I miss baking. So I guess that would be the first thing that I'd do when I get back. And yeah, I need a vacation so badly. Somewhere with sun, sand and beaches. I miss Penang. I might go for an internship. Or just go working at some place related to my course. I want to spend time with my family. Hang out with old and new friends. I want to play softball again. I want to jog at MPSJ. I want to watch a marathon of HIMYM, Gossip Girl & Skins. Oh and Prison Break too. I want to have a fancy dinner with my girl friends. I've been thinking of mendaki the Broga Hill.

However,
holiday isn't here yet.

As for now, I really need to start focusing on my study. I've screwed the last five semesters and I don't want that to happen again in my last semester. April will be the month of torture. Call me a drama queen but it's the truth. All assignments are to be submitted by this month, and tests waiting to be seated.

Ya Allah, I really need Your guidance to get back on track since I've been wayyyy out of track and lack of focus for the past 3 months. Help me Ya Allah..

Amin ya rabbal alamin.




p/s : Good luck to all final semester students! We might lose the battle, but we will win the war! All the best!

Friday, April 01, 2011

I got a soul but i'm not a soldier.

Bummer. Ada audit talk esok. kjsfhsdfkkgflglgldfh (Aku malas nak mencarut).

Nasib baik ah aku gigih balik hari ke Subang hari rabu haritu. Terima kasih kawan baik sebab sudi hantar aku pulang ke rumah. Acah2 Segamat ke Subang macam Shah Alam ke Subang. Yes, they send me home all the way from Segamat. Kau ada best friend macam tu?Tak ada kan! Booooooo! Haha. Sila lempang aku sekarang.

Terima kasih A & S.

Anyways,

Aku tahu aku dah berjanji dengan diri sendiri yang aku takkan contact N sampai lah dia yang contact aku. But, last night was an exception. Aku kusut tahap dewa 19 yang buat aku rasa nak buat vandalism. And I was desperately in need to talk to someone sebelum aku pecahkan cermin kereta sesiapa. So I contacted him. Boo dekat aku sekarang. Aku pun tak tahu kenapa dalam banyak2 orang aku pilih dia. Zzzz.

Aku benci situasi aku sekarang.

Aku benci jadi lemah. Selama ni aku rasa aku kuat. Aku rasa aku boleh hadap segala benda. Tapi ternyata tak. I am currently at my lowest point.

Luaran aku mungkin tunjuk yang sebaliknya. Tapi dalaman, you'll never know man. You'll never know.

Aku penat. Penat berpura-pura. Penat nak berselindung. Aku rasa nak maki orang. Aku rasa nak lepaskan semuanya. Tapi siapa je yang sanggup dengar? No one. End up aku berkomunikasi dengan dinding.


How nais.


Even Mcd's Happy Meal can't put a smile on my face nowadays.